Quite a few of my friends lately have been talking about how much they want to be married, keeping in mind we are in the 20-24 age group, and they have only been with their s/o for not more than a year or two…
If you love each other that much, prove it by simply staying together. By getting married at 20 years, give or take a year or twobecause you think you’ve found your one and only, what point are you trying to prove. Trying to be cute for everyone else to see? “O they just got married; well I want to find love like that too!” If you found the person you’re supposed to be with for the rest of your life, your soul mate, your other half, then just being with them is enough. Don’t rush to be married; what’s meant to be will be no matter if you marry in your 20s, 30s, or 40s. So why not wait until you and your perfect match have your life figured out. When you’re young, you’re still growing, you may think you know the other person inside and out, but they don’t even know themselves. You’re still figuring stuff out, who you are, where you want to go and what you want to do. Dating is a part of growing up and learning who you are and what you want in a spouse. Sure it’s extremely romantic when you hear that a couple is each other’s high school sweethearts, but how many of them are still together when they are old and grey? They never got to live their life or figure things out for themselves.
Midlife crisis, table for one please! Seeing a couple get engaged after being together for 6 years. That’s cute, Congrats!! That’s the way to do it! Wait….you’re 21? Which means you’ve been dating since 15..? Did you even have a chance to meet anyone else? Did you ever get to find out what other kind of people are out there? Ever realize that maybe who you picture yourself being with is the exact opposite of the kind of person you need to be with? How will you ever find that out? Maybe you can’t picture yourself without each other or maybe it is fate. But why test it by marriage when you’re only 22. It only leads to divorce.
This is the 21st century. We have so much more to lose and so much more to learn and do with our lives now. College itself takes a few years to complete. Are we going to move into a teeny tiny apartment and try and make ends meet because we spent money on a wedding at the age of 20? NOOO thank you. Get through school; see if after you’ve matured you’re still ready to spend your life with the person you chose. If they are serious about you, they will always be there. They won’t just run away because you aren’t married within the first year you met. Grow independent, and make a life for yourself and then invite someone in to share it with you when you are ready… Now wait, not when you THINK you are ready, but when you actually have completed everything you want to do and are completely 100% fully ready to go head first into sharing everything with one person forever.
That’s what marriage is. It’s not “ Hey, I love you, let’s get married and see what happens.” Marriage is the real deal. It’s the supposed to be “permanent” solution, (Which has definitely been taken lightly recently). It’s a promise that you are going to be all in with your significant other. Do whatever you can to keep each other happy and that you believe with all your heart (hopefully after a few other significant others to have given you the experiences to learn from) that this is the one person you couldn’t live without; The one who makes you stronger and who compliments you. It’s a promise that you will be faithful and even though all eyes wonder every so often, yours will be happy to take a glance and look back to the one standing next to you and never have felt so content in your life. You grow with this person and fall more in love each day. You don’t fall out of love and you don’t get bored. Every day is a new day to discover who your other half is and how each day they bring out the best smile and the best feeling in the world. You want to be your best and do your best for the both of you. Not just for them but for the “us”. It’s about there being no doubt about whether you are happy with the idea of spending the rest of your life with this one person. Of course nothing is guaranteed so the argument back can be well how do you know? We have a life expectancy rate of up to about 100 years old. 21 is only about a fifth of your life, you’ve only seen 21 years and you still have about 80 more to go!! Why not live a little, go places, do things, meet new people with or without someone by your side.
Tying yourself down so early will most likely lead to a higher chance of disappointment later in life. Taking more time will not push your soul mate away, it will bring you closer than you imagined possible and the more sure you’ll be that you are each other’s second half.
intwodeep 